jeudi, septembre 02, 2004
- Confessions of a DB -no.. not DragonBoater.. Dedicated Bummer.. HAhahahaaa..
Ok.. i admit.. instead of keeping the house clean & tidy, spick& span, i've turned the whole place into a pig sty.. Even the kitchen.. i reallie surprise myelf sumtimes.. HAhaha..
Neways, i have a job interview set up for fri at 11.. gonna work at Procter & Gamble.. hAHhaa.. finally, me getting a job..
To all those out there who harbour pre-conceived notions tat i'm a no good ne'er do well slacker, I am NOt..
i MAY (the word is MAY) come across as lazy bones bummer who eats all day and refuses to clean the residence, ok.. I Am SUCH.. ahahha.. but its not like i haven tried for jobs and stuff.. its just tat i'm too picky.. musn't deduct cpf.. must be near my area.. must fulfill for at least 75% of my checklist.. hAHhaa.. hey.. at least i can come out and admit my shortcomings..
So AnYway, i'm up for an interview so keep ur fingers crossed for me ya..
Ok.. On to other issues.. 've been thinking a whole lot the past few days, er.. weeks tat i've been resting.. thinking of school, frends, relationships (tat nv happened), life and ambitions..
till now, i'm still unable to come up with an affirmative route of life..
About music, its still top priority.. abt journalism, i've decided to totally and i mean thoroughly GIVE IT UP.. i must admit, its a dirty job... Is the News broadcasted to one and all true and honest.. is there integrity behind the reports..
Unfortunately, the answer is NO.. like i said, it is indeed very unfortunate.. but its a dirty world out there.. *sigh* to think tat i refused to accept it untill i read a book and wept..
now tat i've come to terms with reality, i'm totallie shunning this profession..
So, one ambition down and no more to go.. onli 've got music to pursue, of which i can't for many reasons..
My life's at crossroads now.. in fact, multiple crossroads.. its like the path i take leads to a dilemma and another and yet another.. ahhhhhhhhh.. how??
to tell you the truth, i've been thinkin abt this for a long long time already but i'm still unable to come up with concrete plans..
i derive comfort (read: escape from reality) from having my daily dose of sesame street.. haha.. yes.. call me childish or wadever u want.. but in my opinion, the characters in this very informin, educatin and entertaining hour long show are very much more mature than the pple u meet in real life..
i digress.. sumtimes i wunder if pple actuallie read wad i write at all.. even if they do, do they fully or rather, CAN they fully comprehend what i'm talking abt.. but heck.. life goes on and so, i type on..
Anyways, after the very intensive thinking process that i went thru the last few weeks, i'm decided to dedicate my time to putting smiles on pple's faces.. brightening up their days.. in other words, make the pple around me happier.. if the pple around me are happy, i;d be happy too..
Be not mistaken.. a saint i'm not trying to be..
I'm just being myself..
Now tell me.. what guy in a right frame of mind would want a complicated, noisy, eigmatic, incessant girl like me??
Yes.. i've been mocking myself..
Now show me the guy..
Chlarie at 2:58 AM
mardi, août 31, 2004
- Stone/Scream with me -*sumthin's seriously wrong with me.. its 3.15 and i can't get to sleep.. I've been lying down for like the past one hour but i just can't sLeep..
feeling kinda empty.. stony...
been listening to Lin Jun Jie's Hai Pa (afraid) on repeat mode for the same amount of time.. Thing is, i can't grasp the song's meaning.. so frustrating... its like there's no link at all.. think i need more events in my life ya??
I so need spend time in the open sea.. Aaaahhhh.. stupid me.. had to fail my theory test AGAIN.. otherwise i'd be out in the sea, stoning and clearing my mind...
dunno why i love the water sooo much.. its like there's an affinity.. perhaps its coz Cancer's a water sign.. HAhahaha.. funny how i believe in that..
I used to hate swimming... when i was young, training was sumthin i dreaded.. Even when i won my first medal, i was like shiet.. but when i stopped altogether during sec school, i kinda missed it.. In poly, i started swimming like there's no tmr.. hahaa.. i can stay in the pool for like 2 1/2 hours just swimming and thinking.. HAhahaa..
den in OBS, i experienced kayaking for the first time.. reallie hated it.. hated it so much so tat i swore tat i'd NEVER get into a kayaK ever again.. since the day i made that vow, haha, i've broken it like umpteen times.. have since grew to like it..
reallie funny how i always start disliking a sport and den go on to rediscover the finer points and den grow to like it..
Ok.. better stop digressing.. Haha..
reallie think i should go live by the sea for a few days or sumthin.. dun mind staying in a kelong. HAhAhahaha...
SO need to spend time alone.. but then.. need to share my thoughts and views and have sumone listen to me..
I'm so irritating..
Sumbody Help MEeee Pleaseee..
* Delete where applicable
Chlarie at 3:45 AM